Completely Unrelated To WoW (And Possibly NSFW)

I’m allowed to do this once in a while, right?  Heck, I know some WoW bloggers who blog about their personal lives far more than I do.  Consider this the exception and not the rule.

I have — the last few days — been very sick.  Yesterday morning I woke up and could barely speak.  Thursday mornings I have to work in a very loud work environment and I knew it was going to be a very challenging day — and it was.

I stopped at the doctor on the way home and had him look down my throat.  I could tell by the flinch it wasn’t good.  ”You have a very bad case of viral laryngitis.  If you can take a day of bed rest, I would, and don’t talk any more than you have to”, he told me.  I was shocked.  I’d never heard of a bed rest prescription for laryngitis.  It seemed a little extreme, but I agreed I would “take it easy”.

I got home and discovered I was “flying solo” for dinner.  Rather than put effort into making dinner (since I felt like re-fried crap to begin with) I decided to just go to Subway and grab a sandwich and come home and play a little World of Warcraft.

I hopped in my car and drove to the Subway which is about three minutes from my house.  I walked in, and (fortunately) there were no other customers in the store.  The employees seemed to have picked up on this fact and had taken the opportunity to crank the music a little louder than the operations manual may have indicated.

I proceeded to the counter and recited my order across the glass barrier.  At this point, my voice had gone from “bad” to nearly non-existant.  The young college-aged girl behind the counter squinted and leaned over the counter a little bit and asked me to repeat myself.

So I did.

“What’s wrong with you?”, she asked.  ”I can see your mouth moving, but I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

I wanted to jump the counter and just turn down the music.  I was tired, sick, and beginning to get embarassed.  Subsequently, I was also starting to get pissed off.  Have you ever… in a moment of anger or an adrenaline rush gotten words mixed up?  I did.  And how.

I scowled slightly and took the deepest breath I could muster to “push” the volume as far as my larynx would allow it to go.  “I HAVE VAGINAL LARYNGITIS!”, I exclaimed.

I didn’t even realize what I’d said until the poor girl’s eyes swelled to a size larger than the tomatos she would later add to my cold cut combo.  I stared at her for a second trying to ascertain the cause of her fright when the “instant replay” dutifully played in my head and my eyes soon matched hers.

Without a word of a lie, the other young lady who was doing prep work in the kitchen stuck her head around the corner and commented “You know… I think I had that last summer!”, at which point the girl behind the counter exploded in laughter and I… well… tried to… as I tried to “de-redden” my face.

“Would would you like on your sandwich?”, she asked with a smirk.  (By now, the music was off.)

“Viral tomatos… viral onions… viral green peppers… both kinds of viral olives…”, I replied weakly.

I’ll be really happy when this laryngitis is completely gone.