My spouse and I took a long vacation from WoW. We were both pretty burnt out. For Valentines Day, my beautiful stunning wife bought us two prepaid cards. Now we just need to get a few characters in good level-alignment so we can actually use the gift to play together. We had some fun today playing her priest with my paladin.
But I digress.
A few weeks ago, I took a massive crap. In non-WoW vernacular, it was the “spinal tap” poop. I felt like I was giving birth to triplets. True story. It was so excruciating, in a moment of Alliance-weakness, I yelled/groaned “FOR THE HORDE!!” (in my best gruff orc voice) as I made one last desperate push to drop the kids at the pool. And thus, the joke was born.
My wife is having somewhat of a rough couple of months and after a moment of frustration, she disappeared into the bathroom to take a relaxing bath. It’s a girl thing. I totally don’t understand. I don’t pretend to. It only makes me look like a huge schmuck. Oh wait. I am. But I digress.
She emerged from the bathroom looking refreshed, renewed, and somewhat radiant. As she proceeded to log into the game, she announced to me that she’d had no fewer than three craps while she was in there. Information I had not solicited, but I demonstrated interest because that’s the kind of renaissance man I am. “How many of them were ‘For The Horde’ craps?”, I asked.
“All of them, if I was grinding in a water zone.”
I’m so getting WoW wood right now. And she’s ALL mine, boys. She’s ALL mine.
Addendum: I just read the article to her, and we got into an ensuing conversation about what other WoW characters could be used as poop metaphors. I suggested “The Fel Reaver Dump”. She turned, cringed, and said “Ouch that would hurt with all those pinchy things…” Oh baby. The lovin is gonna be hot tonight.